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Home sweet home – where the heck am I?

By helen@bannigan.com • January 5, 2019 • Culture, Expat Life, Travel
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“ID please”…

At my age, I don’t often hear that at the checkout counter.  Apparently, in the USA nowadays, you need to look under the age of 50 to be able to buy your basic cough syrup.

When did my “home” country start feeling like such an alien place?

There are water fountains everywhere in public places, when so many countries don’t have safe running water to drink. The grocery stores are filled with an insane abundance of every product you could possibly imagine…. and many that you couldn’t (PB&J swirled Goober spread, I’m looking at you).  America is one of the few places in the world where you can stand next to a stranger waiting in line for the bus, strike up a conversation, and end up learning intimate details of decades of their life. Then, never see them again. And that’s totally ok.

“Home” is a curious thing, after all. It changes, evolves over the years and can mean very different things to different people.

Our family has 3 “homes”, though we’ve never actually owned a house: The USA, where my husband and I were born and raised but where we left not long after our teen years; Italy, where our two kids were born and raised; and Hong Kong, where we currently live and thrive.  I lived previously in Spain, Portugal, and France and enjoy heartfelt memories of each, but none of them reach the “Home” status.

The USA is our original place of reference, where we were educated and reared and hold on to so many childhood memories. Most importantly these days, it’s where our original family resides, and the friends we grew up with that know us best.

Italy is where we gave birth to and raised two beautiful children.  Rome and is where I fulfilled my greatest dream of becoming a mother: I could never express my gratitude enough for that life-altering gift. The nearby Medieval stone village of Monteleone is where our children spent so many meaningful, carefree, healthy, joyous moments together with their childhood friends; running naked in the gardens, eating fruit off the trees, building forts, exploring the countryside, cultivating a love of natural, locally-sourced food that was cooked and shared with the local community, learning about life and love and friendship. This will always be my soul spot, Monteleone, one that feeds me in every way.

Hong Kong is our current home, where our immediate family lives and thrives.  We’ve spent 6 wonderful years there, enjoying the adventure of discovering greater Asia as a family and each of us having our own journeys, exploring countries on our own with school, work, or for pleasure. As my mother was born in China (my grandparents had been missionaries there), it’s been exceptionally meaningful to understand more deeply this part of the world, and how it fits into several generations of my extended family story.

The thing about being a long-term expat is that we recognize that we will never be 100% at ease in our host foreign country.

What we come to learn is that we will never be 100% “at ease” in our original home country either.

The trick is achieving the wisdom to be at peace with that.

Home, sweet homes.

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About the Author

helen@bannigan.com

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    WELCOME HOME.

    WELCOME HOME.
    Seven countries. Forty-odd years of packing boxes, learning new currencies and languages, getting things gloriously wrong, and figuring it out anyway. After all that, I've come to believe that home isn't a place — it's a feeling you learn to carry with you, and occasionally stumble into somewhere unexpected. Consider this one of those places. This blog is where I think out loud about culture, identity, leadership, and the endlessly entertaining business of being human across borders. Pull up a chair. Put your feet up. Disagree with me. Share what resonates. That's the whole point. And if somewhere along the way you find yourself wondering whether I might be useful to you — whether that's helping your team actually work across cultures rather than just survive them, speaking at your next leadership event, or joining us for something altogether different at our 17th-century palazzo in the Sabine Hills of Italy — the door is open. It usually is. No hard sell. Just a warm welcome. And perhaps a cup of tea. Come find me: helen@bannigan.com · bannigan.com Curious what Executive Cultural Coaching actually means in practice? Scroll down — I promise it's more interesting than it sounds.
    Helen Bannigan

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    Executive Cultural Coaching

    At Bannigan Communications, we work with global leaders who are smart, experienced, and occasionally baffled by why something that works perfectly well at home lands completely flat somewhere else.

    That’s not a failure of intelligence. It’s a gap in cultural fluency — and it’s entirely fixable.

    Our workshops (in-person and virtual) give executives and their teams the self-awareness, practical tools, and genuine understanding of other cultures needed to build trust, communicate effectively, and lead with confidence across borders. Less theory, more “here’s what to actually do on Monday morning.”

    Participants leave with actionable frameworks they can use immediately — whether they’re relocating, managing a global team, or simply trying to understand why their counterpart in Tokyo keeps saying yes and meaning something else entirely.

    Curious? I’d love to talk. helen@bannigan.com · bannigan.com

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